If you can't say something nice.....

Remember Thumper the rabbit from Disney’s Bambi? Other than the obvious upsetting part, I love that movie! Every once in a while I think about Thumper and his mother’s reminder: If you can’t say something nice don’t say nothing at all!

I was listening to someone speak the other day and thinking gosh, he’s not very interesting! And then I said that thought out loud to my husband and realized that’s not very nice of me!

I am not perfect. And I just hate that! In fact I mess up more than I do good ☹
I hope I’m not the only one! So here’s what I notice:

• Sometimes I’m just not nice!
• Sometimes I’m a worrier
• Sometimes I’m harsh
• Sometimes I’m judgemental
• Sometimes I’m impatient
• Sometimes I’m sarcastic (my kids would say, “Ya think!”)

Hmm. That sounds bad. I really try, and sometimes I’m super impressed with my niceness, faith, acceptance, patience, kind words, etc.! Then I think I’ve got it all together, but as it turns out it doesn’t last forever.

So what do I do? Well, I just keep trying. I was walking my doggies yesterday and I had an epiphany. Actually I’ve known it for a long time. I write about it. I teach about it. And I try to live it. But yesterday I felt it more than ever. And it is this: All of those things could be better if I will do one thing – shut my big mouth! When I say something nasty, then it becomes real. If I will just stop for a moment and think about it then maybe I can change my mind.

Yes, that’s it – I want to change my mind and keep always trying to do what I know is right. I’m sure I will be tested again before the day is out!

Update: Just read this verse - thought it applied!
... People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at a person's thoughts and intentions. 1 Samuel 16:7

Antidepressants - to use or not to use???

This morning Fox News reported on research released this week regarding the use of antidepressants. Before I give my opinion, I have to make something very clear. I grew up with anxiety disorder, panic attacks and depression. In 1995 I spent time in a mental hospital when I was unable to cope with life. I took antidepressants and minor tranquilizers for several years – I know they can change lives! So, if you are experiencing mental turmoil and need help, please see someone. I am not a doctor and I would never want to lead anyone to believe that taking medication is a bad thing. However…….

Here’s what the study said. More than 164 million prescriptions were written for antidepressants in 2008, and 27 million people are taking them. Now, for women, since we are twice as likely to suffer from depression and most types of anxiety, that translates into about 18 million women! Researchers also said that the study participants were also more likely to take antipsychotic drugs and less likely to receive psychotherapy.

So what’s the problem here? I mean, after all, doesn’t this just mean that finally more people are getting the help they need? Now we can finally become a happier nation? Not so much. According to Dr. Eric Caine of the University of Rochester in New York "Antidepressants are only moderately effective on population level.” He also said there is no research to support that we are healthier and that some studies show that therapy is just as or more effective than medication alone.

Recently I was teaching a seminar on emotions, and began discussing this issue. A young woman raised her hand and told a powerful story. She went to see her doctor for a medical problem. She happened to mention that she was going through a divorce. He pulled out his prescription pad and said, “Here, you’re going to need this.” He wrote her a prescription for Zoloft.

Here’s what I know. When I was anxious and depressed, all I wanted was to be “normal,” to be “happy” like everyone else. I had such high hopes that my pill would do that for me. What it did was to lift me out of the pits of depression, but I still wasn't happy. They were never intended to make us happy! They are meant to treat a condition. So if you need medication, by all means take it. But then go one step further. At least evaluate if there are other choices you need to make.

I feel so strongly about this that I recorded an audio series entitled Discovering Happiness in a Stressful World. I have decided that I will seek peace, happiness, and freedom from anxiety and depression. I have decided that for me it is a process – a lifestyle. I still have bad days – most of us do. But I have decided I will continue to learn and fill myself up with biblical principles, books, seminars, people – whatever it takes to keep me sane! That is my approach. What is yours?